Elders
(Read this in conjunction with the previous post... Youth Culture)
Yesterday I posted a snippet of youth culture...But always I was thinking of elders and seniors...The senior are the other side of the coin.
I am disturbed by recent news from people that I now...People that I respect...people that I associate with...and I am attempting to make sense of the incidents...
I am sure there is a better life out there...
Incident 1
She is a proud lady.
She has six children...and the husband died five years ago...
They lived together in a condo...comfortable and very self-sufficient and independent too... On every holiday the family gathered together in the elderly couples apartment...After all, they were the head of the family...Things were happy and the grandchildren -14 of them - boisterous and noisy, like it should be...
The grandma and grandpa were all smiles and happy....
After grandpa died...The elder son insisted that grandma should sell the condo and live with them...That was the custom...Mom moves into elder son's home...
"Mom, don't worry...You will be fine and we will look after you...and take care of you", was the elder son's plea...
And it happened...
She sold the condo...for $500 000 and a bit more...
Gave the money to the elder son...and moved with them...
Things were happy and the the lady was all smiles...and very proud..."My son is looking after me...!" Her dream was fulfilled and everything was according to tradition...and customs...
Now she is 89 years old...
The son's wife is complaining...that...She is sloppy and at times even dirty...She is leaking at times and has bladder issues...also, her bathroom is dirty and feces is all around...She is forgetting things and is a hazard at home...They cannot leave her by herself...because they are scarred that something will go wrong and she will set the house on fire...
She is worried...devastated...losing her self-esteem... (from Van Gogh)
...Of course all the other things that people will say about the elderly...and most of them are convenient lies...
"She is crazy...", the son and his wife said few days ago...
And they do not want to look after her...and they want to put her out...
She is devastated...The old lady is losing self-esteem...and her financial control is with her son...and the son wants her out...
***
The son has forgotten that her mom looker after him...Changed his diapers when he was leaking and sleeping in feces...She changed and cleaned him...
The son has forgotten that she provided for him till he graduated from university...
That's almost 25 years...of love and care.
She did everything for him...
And now she has do go out...in poverty...the son has all the money...and the son does not want her around anymore...
"We'll go and visit her...on the weekends...", he said.
Incident 2
A grandpa...living by himself...86 years old...His wife passed away 3 years ago...But he insisted that he will stay in his house where he and his wife have lived together...
He moved everything to the first floor of the house and he is happy...But,
Now he cannot move properly...He needs a cane and a walker...Just like the kids in the walkers...
He was telling me the other day...
He said, "I was under the weather and had problems with my bowel movement...I had to rush to the bathroom every minute...and suddenly the urge was there but the walker was not near by...and while dragging myself to the bathroom I soiled the floor and everything..."
He added, " I am telling you this because you understand...I cannot tell this to my sons or daughters...So I phoned my helper to come right away...She came cleaned all and stayed their till I had a bath and clean myself and refreshed..."
And concluded... "You know, I cannot tell this to my kids...They will right away say...He is losing it and sell the house and place me in a seniors home...They will take the money and get rid of me..."
"I cannot tell this to my kids...." (from Renoir)
The grandpa was scarred that they will abandon him and he will be miserable in the end...The last few years of his life...
He is living by himself...He is self-sufficient and financially secure. The sons and daughters hardly visit him...But the sons and daughters have an eye on his money...If he sells the house...If they can get his bank account...If they ...
And the grandpa is worried...He confided this to me...But cannot talk to his sons and daughters ... he is scarred ... of the consequences...
He has looked after the kids...provided for them...made them financially secure...But the kids want more...The kids want everything...The kids want to get rid of him...too.
He is a burden now...even when he is living by himself...without their help...But human greed wants more...But human greed wants ALL...
***
There was a time when the elders were young too...They were full of dreams...
They were full of dreams... (from Matisse)
There was a time...Long, long time ago...When elders of the town were respected for their life long accumulated experience and wisdom...
There was a time...Long, long time ago...When the custom made younger people kiss the hands of the elderly as a sign of respect...
It's called respect...
There was a time...Long, long time ago...When the Greek and Roman senator were the wise and experienced elders of the republic, of the kingdom...
It is called respect for wisdom and experience...
Now the youth oriented culture...has devastated all perspective and destroyed customs and cultures ... all in the name of greed and profit...
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