This was the last Between My Friend and I....

Former Students and Now friends write about my friend Ross -The Chaplain

Hello Mr. Kevork,

I am truly sorry for your loss of such a good friend. 

I only have the absolute best memories of Mr. Oakes as a kind, thoughtful and dedicated teacher. When we put on the school drama productions, he would always come to our booth and pay more than triple the amount for a single ticket because he was so passionate about supporting the arts and those involved. This kind gesture always stood out in my mind and really spoke to his character. His voice on the PA system giving the morning prayer and announcements lit up the halls of Pocock and remains a fond memory of my high school experience.

The school was a better place because of this man's spirit and his spirit shall live on through the lives he touched over his many years a Pocock. May he rest in peace.

Hi Sir, 

Sorry for not writing to you in so long. You get caught up in assignments and just completely lose track of time.

Anyways, I'm saddened by the news about Mr. Oaks. He was always a great guy while we had him as a chaplain and I'm in shock like everybody else. First Madame Donahue and now Mr. Oaks. It's just been a really tough time lately. I always knew that you two were friends because I constantly saw you and him together at school, whether it be in the chapel or in your room. What really saddens me is that after looking at the blog, I found out that he is the Ross that you're been writing to and including in your blog. Reading all your exchanges with him was really nice to read because I felt that connection that you had with him. You mentioned that he was also at Pocock prior to retiring and I was trying to guess and figure out who Ross was but I had no clue. It's really heartbreaking to know that you lost such a close and meaningful friend to such a completely avoidable tragedy.

My condolences to you and his family. He is in my prayers and thoughts.

This is the last time he wrote...

SOLITUDE CAN BE FRIGHTENING-EVEN THOUGH IT IS THE ONLY ROAD TO PERSONAL PEACE

HAROUT,

When Merton entered the monastery at Gethsemane in Kentucky he was soon in for a rough awakening.  The peace he was looking for was hard to find…there was so much stuff he brought with him…and he had to get over the delusion that because he had left the external world for the walls of Gethsemane- still,  peace was not cheaply to be had.   In fact with less diversions he faced all the demons he had lived with outside the monastery…but with no escapes present.  He began to learn, ever so slowly, that the only peace he would ever achieve would come- not by the external world changing- but by he himself changing how he would be in this world with a renewed sense of who he really was, and how he could be right in the middle of CHAOS and yet still hold his ground.  Not an easy thing to do-but a miraculous change in his consciousness.  If, as the mystics tell us,  that God is the Still Point of a turning universe…then our journey becomes simpler…to learn to live from within that still point.  Not easy.  But necessary.  Merton brought everything with him…and then learned in solitude how to really live even though he couldn’t fix everything outside…nor inside… the monastery.  You learn how to face Holy Mystery and still be wrapped up in chaos…one doesn’t cancel the other…you carry them side by side within your heart…and still choose to live peacefully and  confident because of God’s healing presence.  That’s the goal.  You find the courage to live facing chaos at the very same time living in the healing presence of Holy Mystery .  The shocking Good News is that walking with God does not solve everything  and put us in a blissful state.  But it does give us a deeper peace that we are in the hands of a deeper reality that somehow gives us the courage to want to live- no matter what.  I didn’t come by these sentiments easily or peacefully.  And I realized I didn’t  have to be in a monastery either.

Somehow my friend…this is your journey too.  We all do this journey differently.  But whatever we call it….there is a  deeper Reality that in the end carries us and sustains us.  We realize this when we die.  But some of us experience this before we die.  As we learn to live with this Reality- life changes.  Simple- yet profound.

And I replied

Ross,

Let me begin with a quote.

"What would you have done if you didn't become a writer?" a student asked.                                            Although Saroyan's tone still carried that man - child wit, "I would've become a car thief." He snapped back at the student in a very serious manner…and no one could doubt what he meant….

Saroyan is very witty and honest writer…Read and reread him. His answer is reminiscent of the Rossi that you have mentioned so many times – the man-child wit…and I miss that.

I missed that more than ever all of past week.

The events in Kessab-Syria distorted my peace within and without...My wife was in constant turmoil and emotional for her ancestral village and people that she knew…People that the “Allah-oo-Akbar” crowd killed. They yelled, “Allah-oo-Akbar” and raped a woman in her 80s…They roared, “Allah-oo-Akbar” and pissed in the church…They repeated their “prayer” and beheaded young men…They devastated the crop…They looted the homes…They boasted that they are eating the hot meal left by the Armenians behind…

There is no peace in me…and there is no peace outside…in the world.

I remember, you should remember, how enthusiastically I celebrated the Obama inauguration…The whole day I projected it on a large screen…in my classroom…I wanted the students to be a part of history…I was happy for the change…After all you and I went to that demonstration against the invasion of Iraq…for the non-existent  “weapons of mass destruction”. Now my disappointment in Obama is compounded by the events in Ukraine – where he has allied himself with neo-Nazi and neo-fascist hordes.

My wife is depressed and emotional every minute…and Obama has devastated my peace within and destroyed world peace outside…I am upset in world affairs and the hypocrisy od ALL the bureaucrats from Washington to London to Paris to Moscow and to Kiev and Damascus…

But I am not that young anymore and I cannot do the things that I did before…

The dialectics of internal and external peace is shattered…and Obama contributed to it in a big way…He turned out as big a hypocrite as Bush…

The world is weeping blood and I cannot ignore it…As you suggest, isolation in a monastery will not be a solution…Isolation will not even be a band aid…and I wished you were here (or I was there) …and joined me in my walks.

Here the citrus trees have bloomed and there perfume is everywhere…It reminds me of Oberon and Tatiana in the woods…

How lovely….

But Obama and the rest are destroying the wood…They are ravaging my (our dreams…) I have lost my peace for over a week now and it is effecting my daily routine and functioning….The World is crying out sweat and blood…I am powerless most of the time.

Mind over body is not working properly…The mind is not working as it used to…and the body is dragging along…

Solitudes are not enough…Cocoons are fake…and detachment from the appeals of the World is forfeiting the call of God to ACTION…to help the fellow human beings…to wipe the tears from a face…to wash the feet after a long journey…

We should not live in a cocoon…We should not deny our “healing hands” to the rest of the World…

Our “healing hands” should touch ALL and not be focussed on the few…

I have no peace at the moment…But I am sure I will reconcile the inner and outer dialectics into a fruitful synthesis…and I am sure you will still be there.

                                       ***
And now...Looking at the woods and the fairies...You became part of them...Fly high and higher and higher...I will always remember you and my drinks will taste different...from now on...